I once had a holiday in a Frenchman’s garage. LAUGHTER Can I check if this is a euphemism? But seriously, how old were you, roughly? I don’t mean go, – GROWLING:
– “Oh, 17.” – 38.
– 38, oh, so it’s quite recent. – Only 38 when it happened?
– Yeah. You’re 38, right, you’re in France. Where was the garage? – France!
– Whereabouts in France?
– Northern France. – Whereabouts in Northern France?
– Brittany. In Brittany. So you ended up in Brittany? – Southern Brittany.
– Southern Brittany and you… The northern end of southern Brittany. Oh, that’s just south of mid Brittany, isn’t it? – I know it well.
– Mid Brittany. – HAL:
– What was the name of the town that you were in? The town where I stayed in the Frenchman’s garage… Was? – Vannes.
– You were in the van in the garage, right. The town… Is this how this mix-up happened? “I want a holiday in a van.” Rhod, Rhod. Let me speak to you as another Welshman. – Maybe he’ll understand me.
– LAUGHTER Ask me a nice specific question. Did you book a holiday in a Frenchman’s garage? No. I once HAD a holiday in a Frenchman’s garage. When you arrived in the village or town called Vannes… Yeah, Vannes, yeah. – Did you already know you would be staying in a garage?
– No. Were all the hotels booked? – No. We thought it looked nice in the brochure.
– Who did? – Me and my partner.
– Girlfriend. – Girlfriend.
– Now wife. Blimey, that was a quick ten seconds, wasn’t it? OK, so you were going to Vannes. – We went to Vannes.
– Right. – Went to a tourist information place.
– Because you hadn’t booked anywhere. – We hadn’t booked.
– I’m with you. What happened at the tourist information? They said, “What about this place?” And we said, “That looks nice.” A house with a nice pool, looked nice in the picture, so we went there. And when you got there…? It was a garage. The house was nice but we were in the garage. Was the garage decked out to look like a room or was it just spanners and…? It looked like a room with a canoe on the side and a fuse box. – Am I old before my time but…
– ..at 38, you don’t go on a crazy… “Not going to book where we’re going.” At 38 you want to know where you’re going. – I’m with you, Hal.
– Get a nice comfy room. You know, if this is true, you totally deserve what happened to you. I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it. So it was a deliberate rough and tumble. No, it was a disaster. – How long did you stay for in the garage?
– Two weeks. You stayed for two weeks?! How much did you pay? It was very reasonable. I’m not surprised. Did it have any windows in the garage? – No.
– And you said there was a swimming pool? Yeah, they had a swimming pool. – You were allowed to use it?
– No. I can’t help thinking that what you’re describing is more of a hostage scenario. And what about Mrs Gilbert, she wasn’t Mrs Gilbert then, but how did she react? Because she’s looking at you, Rhod, a tall, strapping, handsome Welshman. What everyone dreams of. And you’ve whisked her there. Was there not a little part of her that died that day when she saw what you expected her to put up with? She wasn’t very well, if I remember rightly. Was it carbon monoxide or exhaust fumes? All right, Lee. It’s a complex tale. What do your team think? – Absolute lie.
– You say lie. – Absolutely.
– Mm hmm. Based on just the floundering? Absolutely everything. Like what? All right, it did have windows. What are you thinking, Hal? It’s like he’s throwing in things that seem so ridiculous. No, but nobody would go and stay in a garage without windows. They wouldn’t. You’re Kelly Hoppen though, Kelly. He’s Rhod Gilbert. OK, what’s it going to be, Lee? Truth or lie? – Lie.
– Lie. I think it’s true but I’ll go with my team and say it’s a lie. You’re going to say lie. OK, Rhod, garage holiday in France. – Truth or lie?
– Holiday in the Frenchman’s garage in Vannes, – true.
– APPLAUSE Yes. It was all true. Rhod did once have a holiday in a Frenchman’s garage.