Celebrating the Spring Holidays

Weekend Update on Failed North Korean Missile Launch – SNL

Weekend Update on Failed North Korean Missile Launch – SNL


♪♪♪
>>IT’S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>THANK YOU.
GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.>>WELCOME TO WEEKEND UPDATE.
I’M MICHAEL CHE.>>AND I’M COLIN JOST.
>>WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS ABOUT KIM JUNG UNWHO IS THE HARRY
STYLES OF NORTH KOREA. THE MISSILE LAUNCH AS IT TOOK
OFF IMMEDIATELY EXPLODED. THE FAILED LAUNCH WAS A TRIBUTE
TO DONALD TRUMP’S FIRST 100 DAYS IN OFFICE.
AS TENSIONS MOUNTED, VICE 39 MIKE PENCE WAS SENT TO SOUTH
KOREA EVEN THOUGH GOING SOUTH IS A SIN.
MEANWHILE DONALD TRUMP SPENT THE WEEKEND ON THE ONE PENINSULA,
FLORIDA.>>IN AN INTERVIEW, PRESIDENT
TRUMP EXPLAINED THAT NORTH KOREA CHANGED AFTER MEETING WITH
CHINA’S PRESIDENT. AFTER LISTENING FOR 10 MINUTES,
I REALIZED IT’S NOT SO EASY. THE NORTH KOREA PART OR THE
LISTENING FOR 10 MINUTES. NOTHING SAID I WASN’T LISTENED
MORE THAN I LISTENED FOR 10 MINUTES.
YOU CAN’T JUST ASK HIM TO CHECK OUT A NEW MIX TAPE.
>>THIS WEEK THE MILITARY DROPPED THE MOTHER OF ALL BOMBS
IN AFGHANISTAN. IT COST TOOK OUT 94 MEMBERS OF
ISIS. FOX NEWS SPENT $13 MILLION TO
GET RID OF FIVE WOMEN. THE BOMB HIT ISIS-K, A REGIONAL
DIVISION OF ISIS AND KELLOGGS’S LEAST POPULAR BREAKFAST CEREAL.
>>PRESIDENT TRUMP GAVE AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW TO FOX
BUSINESS RECOUNTING THE MEETING WITH THE CHINESE PRESIDENT.
TAKE A LOOK.>>I WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE
AND WE FINISHED DINNER AND HAVING DESSERT.
WE HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE THAT YOU HAVE
EVER SEEN.>>FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON’T KNOW
WHO CAKES I HAVE SEEN. AND SECOND, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TAKE IT EASY ON THE CAKE. YOU ALREADY HAVE A BUTT LIKE AN
ATLANTA STRIPPER. TRUMP GOT BACK ON TRACK AND GAVE
US THE SPECIFIC DETAILS.>>WHAT HAPPENS IS I SAID WE
JUST LAUNCHED 59 MISSILES HEADING TO IRAQ.
>>HEADING TO SYRIA.>>YES.
HEADING TOWARDS SYRIA.>>YOU SURE, BRO?
THAT’S KIND OF IMPORTANT. TRUMP RUNS THE COUNTRY LIKE
HOMER SIMPSON RUNS THE POWER PLANT.
THEY ARE ASKING ABOUT MISSILE STRIKES AND HE IS THINKING MMM,
CAKE.>>FLORIDA HEALTH INSPECTORS
ISSUED 13 VIOLATIONS AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP’S MAR A LAGO
RESORT. TRUMP IS NOT WORRIED SINCE HE
BUILT UP IMMUNITY TO DISEASES FROM A TIME OF WAITERS SPITTING
IN HIS FOOD. THEY REQUESTED A $60 MILLION
BUDGET INCREASE ON TOP OF WHAT IS SET ASIDE PROTECTING TRUMP
AND HIS FAMILY. $134 MILLION FOR PROTECTION.
ARE YOU GETTING IRON MAN SUITS? NO FAMILY IS IN THAT MUCH
DANGER. I GREW UP IN NEW YORK IN THE
PROJECTS DURING THE CRACK 80s AND ALL WE HAD WAS A PIT BULL
AND A PRAYING GRANDMOTHER. IF ONE OF US GOT HURT, THAT WAS
JUST GOD’S PLAN, BABY. YOU PUT DOWN CANDLES ON THE
BASKETBALL COURT AND MOVE ON.>>BEN CARSON CORE THE HOUSING
COMPLEX AND SPENT 45 MINUTES TRYING TO DIAL 911 ON THE 4
BUTTON.>>DR. CARSON SAID IT WAS ALMOST
AS EMBARRASSING AS THE TIME HE GOT STUCK ON THIS ESCALATOR.
AND SHOCKING NEWS THIS WEEK, UNITED IS POSSIBLY NOT A GREAT
AIRLINE. ON THURSDAY, A PASSENGER ON ONE
OF THEIR FLIGHT WAS STUNG BY A SCORPION THAT FELL FROM AN
OVERHEAD BIN AND THAT WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED ON A
UNITED AIRLINES THIS WEEK. THE WORST THING IS THIS POOR
DOCTOR WAS DRAGGED OFF OF AN OVERSOLD FLIGHT TO MAKE ROOM FOR
UNITED EMPLOYEES. YOUR SLOGAN IS FLY THE FRIENDLY
SKIES. I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING LESS
APPROPRIATE. LIKE IF CHIPOTLE’S SLOGAN WAS
YOU WILL HAVE AN EASY TIME ON THE TOILET.
I WILL SAY IN FAIRNESS, UNITED ONLY PROMISES TO BE FRIENDLY IN
THE SKIES. ON THE GROUND THEIR SLOGAN IS
DON’T EVEN LOOK AT US. AFTER ALL OF THIS, I WILL NEVER
FLY UNITED EVER AGAIN. UNLESS THEY HAVE A CHEAP FLIGHT
TO WHEREVER I’M GOING. IN WHICH CASE, I WILL DEFINITELY
FLY UNITED.


Reader Comments

  1. My mom was a coworker of that doctor. He couldn't come into work because he was forcefully removed from the plane. It's really messed up what airlines are allowed to do to people ever since the 911 attacks.

  2. "Who needs all that protection….?
    Shit, when I lived in the hood all we had was a pitbull and a praying grandmother."

  3. I think joke about the Secret Service was a bit unfair. When you have to protect someone who seems to conduct business everywhere but the White House, your expenses escalate quickly.

  4. Is everything in this show just to bash President Trump. That is all that you make fun of. This show was good once, before the presidential race. It is sad to see what has happened. It is just political garbage. What happened to good humor and fun, not anti conservative crap.

  5. NEW IDEA FOR A TRUMP SNL COMEDY SKETCH OR A HORRLR FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : All of the most hated, corruptive and famous liers, sexists and racist's (like Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Nigel Farage, Pierces Morgan, etc) are kidnapped and trapped in a apartment where a crazy pyscho punishes them for their corruptive methods of power. What does everyone else think??

  6. Unfortunately the reason America has more bombs than any other country.  Is because we keep the ingredients to those bombs active in our own every day supplies.  So he sends missiles over when they use  chemical warfare that kills children very quickly.  At the same time it is okay for America to kill our children slowly with the same exact chemicals however there are not used in a bomb. They air added to our water  food airways landscapes, soaps  lotions  moisturizers beauty supplies cosmetic. So forth and so on.  One example of how low we are willing to go here in America.   Is by adding fluoride to our water.  The fluoride we use in our water toothpaste mouth rants  etc. etc..  Is a byproduct from aluminum waste.  Other countries have fluoride in their water but it comes from natural selection.  Not man-made toxic excess waste.

  7. Ok we know Trump is a dick…….He's way better than that evil Kim the fat ugly North Korean leader with the 'dog attacked'stupid hair!!

  8. Too bad they didn't add in how much the Clinton's have paid to shut up Bill's accusers, or how much the Clinton's GOT paid to sell Yuuuuuge amounts of nuclear material to the wrong country (Russia). Funny skit, but SNL is so one-sided it's not even funny.

  9. "He said this was almost more embarrassing than the time he got stuck on this escalator" I had to pause the video I was laughing so hard

  10. So is someone else stealing my window seat and complaining to move to the aisle seat even though I CHOSE MY SEAT when getting tickets a good flight for United?

  11. Well, we've been bombing many many many places, somewhere, I forget, Iraq? This job is fucking hard goddamnit, IVANKA!!! get in here and suck me!

  12. WONDERFUL clip, only marred by the frickin' FIFTY-ELEVENTH TIME in a row bingeing on SNL clips showed me the same butch greek yogurt commercial which was only changed up twice with a girly tennis-based "we've got our own type of probiotics like that's supposed to mean something" non-greek yogurt and I'm too irritated to put in the commas so deal.

  13. Oh my goodness. I don't know want is more pathetic, SNL trying to be funny or the audience, trying with all their might to convince themselves it's funny and force a laugh and clap. Bury this embarrassing show already.

  14. The cake was not as beautiful as my chocolate cake by the way. 👨‍🍳👍😊

  15. Jesus H Christ. The President of the United States is a child. He is more interested in eating cake than he is which directions missiles are flying.

  16. Thank goodness that Leslie Jones was not here. I was able to watch the whole episode.

  17. I wish we'd stop with the low blows at his looks guys. He's genuinely evil and a danger. Screw his hands, his face, his skin, his hair and his weight.

  18. Bringing up the choking paralyzed DYING GASSED KIDS in SYRIA – why'd they skip that? Surely huge laughs from stinking liberal scum in the audience.

  19. "I LOVE HOW DONALD TRUMP COMES OFF LOOKING SELF-RIGHTEOUS ABOUT RACISM WHEN HE ATTACKS NFL BLACK PLAYERS".

  20. The MOAB only costs $170,000, not the $16 million reported by business insider and NY Times
    www.businessinsider.com/real-cost-of-moab-mother-of-all-bombs-170-000-2017-4

  21. I got one, I got one:
    Dr. Ben Carson called slaves "immigrants", prompting Kanye West to come out of the Kardashians' Hobbit hole to grab the mic and say "Ben Carson doesn't care about black people."

  22. "The most beautiful chocolate cake that you've ever seen." No it wasn't because I didn't get a chance to see it. 😂

  23. ugh why are these skits all about donald trump/politics now it’s kind of annoying i want something a little more funny

  24. "First of all you don't know what cakes I've seen"
    "And second maybe you should take it easy on the cake you already got a butt like an Atlanta stripper"
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  25. I wish this was one of the times that the commercial advertisement would have been the new overly optimistic and cheery Chipotle commercials touting how wonderful and fresh they are that I have been inundated with here recently….

  26. don't drink,don't smoke, weigh less than 200 lbs,still had more than $1,000 stolen from me so some fat ass has more money for beer, pizza and cigarettes. I wouldn't read the bill either. fuck Obama and his health care plan.

  27. so Trump promotes the cake at a place with 13 health violations. has it been long enough that "the cake is a lie" is funny again?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *